Part of the Family

With my job assignment, fasting month recently and now everyone still in the mood of celebrating Hari Raya, suffice to say that I dont get much chance to go online at home, let alone to update my blog as regularly as I used to.

I surf the internet much often in the office but havent really had the chance to get my head together to come up with anything good for my blog. As it goes, you arent supposed to do your personal errand when you are at work, it is as if you are stealing from your employer.

Hmm… wonder if my maid ever think the same way, when I caught her last evening talking to a Bangladeshi at the lift lobby in front of my apartment, leaving my girl alone at home.

Few times Ive caught her missing in action, while she was suppose to look after my girl. Once my girl called my mobile when I was just about to board the bus to work. She said kakak is not around. I told her probably kakak is outside hanging out the laundry. My girl went out to check, but kakak was no where to be seen. The door was ajar, the grille was unlock. We talked on the phone while I assured her that kakak will be back soon. From the point Ive boarded the bus til I reached my office at work, it was 1 hr and 15 minutes. Then, I heard at the background the maid asked my girl who was it on the phone, when Erin said Mama, she has the cheek to asked Mama cakap apa ? I asked Erin to pass the phone to the maid, and asked her where was she, she gave an excused that even the most stupid person could know that she was lying. Maria pergi bawah ambil baju jatuh. Now, I am staying on the 6th floor of the building, with the lift lobby right next to my apartment. What took her more than an hour to pick up the baju, I dont understand. Not that I am very strict with her. Leaving the house for hours is definitely wrong, but leaving the house for hours with the door ajar and the grille unlock with my girl sleeping in the room, is not acceptable at all. She sticks to her story of picking up fallen laundry. I stick to question of why it took her so long… the problem never resolves, and she never said sorry.

Recently, another incident happened, which led to a bigger argument and me being stressed out and left my blood at a boiling point. For some reason that only her delusional mind works, she thinks that someone called her kafir when we asked her and the kids if they know how to recite the syahadah. Since its the first time we saw her solat when we did jemaah during Ramadhan, we said that sekarang dah betul betul Islam. She took that as if we said that she wasnt before this. She was okay and was being her self for a week or so, until one day when I got home, she was in a moody mood and showed her temperamental attitude. When asked what was wrong, she said that her family back home are not happy that we said that she wasnt Islam. I was taken aback, indeed shocked to the fact that someone said that she wasnt Islam meant that that someone is murtad. Thats not possible, no one would call a fellow muslim kafir knowing that its a sin to do that. I asked her if she specifically heard that someone said kamu ini kafir, but her reaction was beyond my expectation. She called her mother on her handphone, (yes, she owns a handphone), and kept shouting for assurance Maria Islam kan Buk, Maria Islam kan ? over an over again. I was shocked, the kids was shocked, and when asked why she did that, she said Maria kan pekik dengan ibu Maria sendiri. Yes, I know that, but you did that in my house, at the top of your voice, as in protest to me.

Ive always treated my maids (past and present) as part of the family. We eat together at the dining table, whatever I buy for my children, I will make sure that the maids get the same. We laugh, we joke, we watch tv together. She has the freedom to handle the remote control and change channels whenever she wants too. She has her own room, although its cramped with Erins toys. She has her own bed with good mattress, while Erin has to sleep on the floor in my room at some nights when all the kids are at home. The maid wakes up at 7 am and sleeps whenever she pleases. She even takes her naps in the afternoon after sending Erin to school, even when I am at home. She eats whatever we eat. I brought her along whenever we went for holidays.

So, what was it that Ive done wrong ? When Ive read news about maids being abused by their employer, what happened to these maids of mine whom I’ve treated like family ?

When people said that jangan kasi muka dengan maid-maid ni semua, I felt sorry for them for not able to interact with all level of people, but now, I too will say the same to those who is planning to take a maid jangan kasi muka dengan maid-maid ni semua. Kasi betis, dia nak peha. Kasi muka naik kepala.

For those who is planning to take in a maid, my advice is never treat them like family. They are here to earn a living, as such they are workers, treat them with respect yes, respect between employer and employee. Treat them like any human being, with kindness but dont treat them as your daughter/sister. Give them a guideline of dos and donts. Owning a handphone is a NO, boyfriends is a definite NO. Friends who can call them on the phone and chat for more than 3 minutes, is another NO. Of course they are not to be treated as if they are in prison, but outside influence will resulted in you being subjected to stress and losing your night sleeps.